He asked why I went through all of that for him. Why do so much for the enemy and one that you have killed. And I told him...I didn't realize it at the moment but...
[She's not worthy of the emotion. Weapons shouldn't feel but...she does.]
[ Oh come on... There's no way that Hades doesn't know. Isn't he much older and "wiser" than Vanitas?
Then again, the old man and himself are similar in many ways. So maybe he just can't reconcile it, kind of like Vanitas still struggles to do from time to time. ]
That answer... It's obvious isn't it? He should have seen it coming, honestly.
[ Since he is going to where she is. For whatever reason, he feels like this isn't something that should be talked about over a distance. So Vanitas changes his attire and then sets out to go to the Mirror House.
She is thinking of herself as only a weapon again. It sounds like Mira is the one that had been hurt, not Hades. ]
[There's only a sort of choked up "Ok." on her end before ending the call. She's at the Mirror House, sitting on the steps with her knees tucked under her chin. When Vanitas sees her, her body looks incredibly tense. She only looks up at him when he addresses her.]
S-Sorry I ended up dragging you out of sleep for this.
Stop apologizing. We're family, right? I think that means that you have the right to "drag me out" to talk.
[ Vanitas takes a seat next to Mira, leaning against her just a little. No, he won't have her apologize for anything. Mira hasn't done anything to need an apology for. ]
Tell me exactly what happened and how it was said.
[She nods and lets her legs relax and go down, her hands resting on her lap. But she doesn't look at him, keeping her focus on her hands just so she can speak without feeling more hurt than she already does.]
He kept bringing up how we are still enemies. That being in this place didn't change that...nor what I did to my version of him back on my star. That it was only here that I seemed to listen to him, value his words when I did not while on the First. I admitted that I should have asked more and I take full responsibility for those actions. But I also told him how he would shoo me away to go fight the next Lightwarden.
And when I return, I would be unaware of what I had learned...if I had learned anything according to him. That I would feel better after what I had done to him. He called it my 'temporary ascendance' and how free I am to consort with villains without consequence.
[She speaks slowly and quietly, trying to not babble.]
In his words: "Whatever lies you tell yourself, you'll always be Her weapon."
[She's not done but she'll let that last part sink in.]
[ Van nods, keeping his comments to himself. He wants to hear everything before he starts to say something.
It is true that they are enemies. Though they don't necessarily have to be. This is something that Vanitas has thought about for a while when it comes to the ones from that shattered star. They all want the same things and are fighting for the same things.
Sadly, there is also some truth to what Hades has said. Mira will always be Hydaelyn's weapon, if she continues to fight in the name of the goddess. However that doesn't necessarily mean that Mira is one. Vanitas speculates that the old man might be saying things on purpose to hurt and push people away because the alternative would hurt him.
He...also said that the person who had my soul originally wanted nothing to do with Hydaelyn, that the Mother Crystal was probably glad to get her hands on a piece of it. He sounded so...cold speaking as such. Angry even.
[That what she felt could be considered wrong.]
I felt angry when he spoke those words. Enough that I felt compelled to ask him if any feelings he had for me were lies. If he ever cared for me. A passing fondness he called it. I don't know if he still does or not. For am I even worth it? I asked him that and even he questioned it. Speaking that I am possibly the one dragging him down...
[Her voice cracks at that line, gripping her hands tighter. It sounded like she was the toxic one...is he right?]
He has four Bonds, Vanitas. I'm the only Witch bond and...if I'm the one causing his illness, I...
[Her voice gets a little higher as she refuses to look anywhere but down. However, the wetness forming on her legs tells what she is going. This damn man has made her cry more times than anyone.]
I'm hurting him. My feelings are hurting him. What good am I if they do that to anyone?
[ Now, unfortunately, Vanitas is a little rough. He grabs at Mira's face, to make her look at him. ]
I'm aware he has four Bonds, Mira. In fact I've known about it for a while so let's get this straight. You are not dragging him down. He knew full well what he was getting into and he knew that the limit is three. Hades intentionally Bonded with a fourth because he thought he could handle it. He thought that he was above that. When I spoke to him about it, I told him to break one off. He refused.
[ He lets go of her then, the sight of her tears making him a little angry. It sounds like to him that Mira had given the old man all of the ammo he needed to hurt her on purpose. He, like Vanitas, tend to get nasty when things are hitting a little too close to home - when there are things that need to be dealt with but those things are too painful or confusing to. When there is a truth that doesn't want to be acknowledged. ]
Hades did this to himself. It has nothing to do with you. As for the things that he said? They were meant to hurt you because he's miserable and in pain himself and that's where he wants to stay. He's in love with his own suffering and you've given him a way out of that and he's looking for every excuse he can to cling to what he knows instead of the unknown instead.
[ This time it is Vanitas that has more to say, but he's giving Mira a minute to think this over. ]
[She makes a small gasp at the sudden grip on her face, part of her wanted to yell out what exactly was he doing. And his words...for each question Mira had, Vanitas answered.
It wasn't her running away but...him? He wanted to keep those Bonds despite the words? Those harsh words that made her feel so useless? He was lying after all.
You're not worthless, Mira. If you ever question how worthwhile you are, remember that your worth isn't based on how people benefit from you or your actions. Though if you need that something.
[ Vanitas nudges her again. Something a little less mean than grabbing her face. ]
I was thinking about asking you this for a while - to Bond with me, that is. The Coven said that having Bonds could repair my heart over time. It wouldn't be too different from what Sora did for Ventus all these years. So the Bonds that I choose are because those are the type of people I want to become a part of me. Brand new pieces of my heart to be forever linked with the person who gave it to me.
[ Surely Mira should know the importance of what he's saying. To anyone else it may sound selfish, like Vanitas is using people. It isn't that, of course. The matter of his fractured heart is something that is very sensitive to him. He's not going to just allow anyone to forge that kind of connection with him. ]
Mira. You're important. You matter and you matter, specifically, to me. I wouldn't be this version of me if it hadn't been for you. So don't ever think you're just a weapon. You're much more than that.
[ He huffs, embarrassed and going to change the subject. Vanitas rubs the back of his neck to make that emotion go away. ]
So let me tell you something... Hades and I aren't too different and if you break it off? Right now because of this? In his mind that will only prove the lies that he tells himself to be true. It's taken me months to get to this point after being the same way for years. Hades has been this way for eons.
[ Van tilts his head a little. ]
So it's not going to be easy. He's got to want it, Mira. You can't do that for him. If you break it off, then it has to be for you. It can't be because of him.
[Everything at this moment...it feels like an overload. Hearing one thing and then another. And for Mira, in her sadness and anger gave the fuel needed to make Hades see that his side was the correct way. The only way. And now Vanitas tells her all of this...she told the ascian that it is his choice because she thought that was the right thing to do.
But it still doesn't change the fact that he has four Bonds. And that in itself is dangerous. She could keep it and he would waste away...was that what he wanted? To lose himself? What did she want?
'You still love him, don't you?'
Giving up?]
But it doesn't change the fact that he still has too many Bonds and no way to stablize them. I may want something but reality likes to remind us about our limits. I don't even know if there is any research on the subject.
[Something for herself...she should do it. And yet, a small part remains. Mira doesn't know what to do and then Vani drops that other bombshell and his reasonings. The fact that his heart can be repaired and that he trusts her enough to ask her. That someone cares that much for her...]
If you still want me...then I would be glad to Bond with you.
There was a Puca that was studying the subject when I was poking around for... Other things.
[ Like information on Pucs in general. He doesn't want to get into that right now. The focus has to be on this. Has to be on Mira and her feelings. ]
I'm not sure if he found any answers or not, but again. It's not about the old man and what he wants. This has to be something you want for yourself. [ He clicks his tongue then. ] Though I could always beat him up if it'd make you feel better about it.
[ There's a little snicker to indicate that he's joking. Mostly. ]
As for Bonding... Yes. I still want it, but let me ask when you're not crying and it's not the middle of the night. Would make me feel a little more at ease anyway.
[ Because there would be a small part of him that would wonder if it would be a spur of the moment decision. Not likely, but it could be. Vanitas stands then, holding out his hand for Mira to take. They are going to go home one way or another. ]
And Mira? Stop blaming yourself. Nothing about what he's said or done is really about you. Hades is just pushing it all out onto you. Projecting, in a way. If you've done anything, it's probably make him question things that he believes or feels. People like Hades and myself? We're really good at saying things to get the results that we want.
What did they look like or give you a name? I'll need to find them and see what they know.
[She already does know but without enough info to go on, she can't make a correct guess. A snort of laughter escapes as she leans into him at the idea of her son kicking his ass.]
No, you don't need to go that far. He may like it if what you say is true. But I do agree that mayhap some decent enough rest may give us clearer answers.
[She still feels like she needs to annul the Bond just because of logical reasons but her son has given her more knowledge to think with. Mira may have given into the ascian's lies but in the end, she needs to choose. Her choice, for her sake. No one else's. It has to be because she wants it. A lesson that will need to be pounded into her head maybe a couple more times to let it sink in.]
To trust my own instincts then? I'm horrible with it given my record.
Silver colored furry ears. Dark hair. Very grandiose and has an overwhelmingly annoying personality.
[ It's likely that she knows who he is referring to. With or without a name. Though hey... She's laughing. Or well. It's something of a laugh. That's better than the crying and the tear stains. So maybe some sleep will help her clear her head and process. Vanitas doubts that it will do anything for the old man but... ]
Trust your own instincts. You won't be able to develop them if you don't take the risk.
[Look, she needs to talk to him but she won't do it now. Not while she's riled up and a mess. What a damn fool she's been. Such a terrible weapon she is.
No. No, not just a weapon. Someone who has love in her soul. Even if she is dumb to learn of it. Her choices from here on out must be her own and made because she wants it.]
For what is life without the risk?
[She still feels absolutely horrible without a doubt. She hurt someone she loved, even given him the reasons why he should keep closed off. And she still feels like she needs to annul her Bond with Hades, because that would save him. It's only logical. But...is that what she wants?]
after a certain dream
It's me. Did I wake you?
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Yeah, but it's fine. What's going on?
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[Her voice cracks as if she's trying to hold something back. Clearly she's not at the house if she's calling.]
I just need someone to talk to. I fear I hurt someone badly.
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What happened.
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...Hades saw my memories when people were taken by the Rathmores. What I went through.
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Okay... How could those memories hurt anyone?
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He asked why I went through all of that for him. Why do so much for the enemy and one that you have killed. And I told him...I didn't realize it at the moment but...
[She's not worthy of the emotion. Weapons shouldn't feel but...she does.]
...I told him I loved him.
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Then again, the old man and himself are similar in many ways. So maybe he just can't reconcile it, kind of like Vanitas still struggles to do from time to time. ]
That answer... It's obvious isn't it? He should have seen it coming, honestly.
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[Too much bad blood. Time cannot be changed after all...it was stupid of her to even think about it.]
'Twas foolish to believe someone like myself could love someone. Someone only used as a sword to strike down the enemy.
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Where are you, Mira.
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[ Since he is going to where she is. For whatever reason, he feels like this isn't something that should be talked about over a distance. So Vanitas changes his attire and then sets out to go to the Mirror House.
She is thinking of herself as only a weapon again. It sounds like Mira is the one that had been hurt, not Hades. ]
Mira.
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S-Sorry I ended up dragging you out of sleep for this.
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[ Vanitas takes a seat next to Mira, leaning against her just a little. No, he won't have her apologize for anything. Mira hasn't done anything to need an apology for. ]
Tell me exactly what happened and how it was said.
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He kept bringing up how we are still enemies. That being in this place didn't change that...nor what I did to my version of him back on my star. That it was only here that I seemed to listen to him, value his words when I did not while on the First. I admitted that I should have asked more and I take full responsibility for those actions. But I also told him how he would shoo me away to go fight the next Lightwarden.
And when I return, I would be unaware of what I had learned...if I had learned anything according to him. That I would feel better after what I had done to him. He called it my 'temporary ascendance' and how free I am to consort with villains without consequence.
[She speaks slowly and quietly, trying to not babble.]
In his words: "Whatever lies you tell yourself, you'll always be Her weapon."
[She's not done but she'll let that last part sink in.]
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It is true that they are enemies. Though they don't necessarily have to be. This is something that Vanitas has thought about for a while when it comes to the ones from that shattered star. They all want the same things and are fighting for the same things.
Sadly, there is also some truth to what Hades has said. Mira will always be Hydaelyn's weapon, if she continues to fight in the name of the goddess. However that doesn't necessarily mean that Mira is one. Vanitas speculates that the old man might be saying things on purpose to hurt and push people away because the alternative would hurt him.
But Vanitas wants to hear the rest. ]
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[That what she felt could be considered wrong.]
I felt angry when he spoke those words. Enough that I felt compelled to ask him if any feelings he had for me were lies. If he ever cared for me. A passing fondness he called it. I don't know if he still does or not. For am I even worth it? I asked him that and even he questioned it. Speaking that I am possibly the one dragging him down...
[Her voice cracks at that line, gripping her hands tighter. It sounded like she was the toxic one...is he right?]
He has four Bonds, Vanitas. I'm the only Witch bond and...if I'm the one causing his illness, I...
[Her voice gets a little higher as she refuses to look anywhere but down. However, the wetness forming on her legs tells what she is going. This damn man has made her cry more times than anyone.]
I'm hurting him. My feelings are hurting him. What good am I if they do that to anyone?
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I'm aware he has four Bonds, Mira. In fact I've known about it for a while so let's get this straight. You are not dragging him down. He knew full well what he was getting into and he knew that the limit is three. Hades intentionally Bonded with a fourth because he thought he could handle it. He thought that he was above that. When I spoke to him about it, I told him to break one off. He refused.
[ He lets go of her then, the sight of her tears making him a little angry. It sounds like to him that Mira had given the old man all of the ammo he needed to hurt her on purpose. He, like Vanitas, tend to get nasty when things are hitting a little too close to home - when there are things that need to be dealt with but those things are too painful or confusing to. When there is a truth that doesn't want to be acknowledged. ]
Hades did this to himself. It has nothing to do with you. As for the things that he said? They were meant to hurt you because he's miserable and in pain himself and that's where he wants to stay. He's in love with his own suffering and you've given him a way out of that and he's looking for every excuse he can to cling to what he knows instead of the unknown instead.
[ This time it is Vanitas that has more to say, but he's giving Mira a minute to think this over. ]
I'm not done talking, okay?
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It wasn't her running away but...him? He wanted to keep those Bonds despite the words? Those harsh words that made her feel so useless? He was lying after all.
All Mira can do is nod in reply.]
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You're not worthless, Mira. If you ever question how worthwhile you are, remember that your worth isn't based on how people benefit from you or your actions. Though if you need that something.
[ Vanitas nudges her again. Something a little less mean than grabbing her face. ]
I was thinking about asking you this for a while - to Bond with me, that is. The Coven said that having Bonds could repair my heart over time. It wouldn't be too different from what Sora did for Ventus all these years. So the Bonds that I choose are because those are the type of people I want to become a part of me. Brand new pieces of my heart to be forever linked with the person who gave it to me.
[ Surely Mira should know the importance of what he's saying. To anyone else it may sound selfish, like Vanitas is using people. It isn't that, of course. The matter of his fractured heart is something that is very sensitive to him. He's not going to just allow anyone to forge that kind of connection with him. ]
Mira. You're important. You matter and you matter, specifically, to me. I wouldn't be this version of me if it hadn't been for you. So don't ever think you're just a weapon. You're much more than that.
[ He huffs, embarrassed and going to change the subject. Vanitas rubs the back of his neck to make that emotion go away. ]
So let me tell you something... Hades and I aren't too different and if you break it off? Right now because of this? In his mind that will only prove the lies that he tells himself to be true. It's taken me months to get to this point after being the same way for years. Hades has been this way for eons.
[ Van tilts his head a little. ]
So it's not going to be easy. He's got to want it, Mira. You can't do that for him. If you break it off, then it has to be for you. It can't be because of him.
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But it still doesn't change the fact that he has four Bonds. And that in itself is dangerous. She could keep it and he would waste away...was that what he wanted? To lose himself? What did she want?
'You still love him, don't you?'
Giving up?]
But it doesn't change the fact that he still has too many Bonds and no way to stablize them. I may want something but reality likes to remind us about our limits. I don't even know if there is any research on the subject.
[Something for herself...she should do it. And yet, a small part remains. Mira doesn't know what to do and then Vani drops that other bombshell and his reasonings. The fact that his heart can be repaired and that he trusts her enough to ask her. That someone cares that much for her...]
If you still want me...then I would be glad to Bond with you.
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[ Like information on Pucs in general. He doesn't want to get into that right now. The focus has to be on this. Has to be on Mira and her feelings. ]
I'm not sure if he found any answers or not, but again. It's not about the old man and what he wants. This has to be something you want for yourself. [ He clicks his tongue then. ] Though I could always beat him up if it'd make you feel better about it.
[ There's a little snicker to indicate that he's joking. Mostly. ]
As for Bonding... Yes. I still want it, but let me ask when you're not crying and it's not the middle of the night. Would make me feel a little more at ease anyway.
[ Because there would be a small part of him that would wonder if it would be a spur of the moment decision. Not likely, but it could be. Vanitas stands then, holding out his hand for Mira to take. They are going to go home one way or another. ]
And Mira? Stop blaming yourself. Nothing about what he's said or done is really about you. Hades is just pushing it all out onto you. Projecting, in a way. If you've done anything, it's probably make him question things that he believes or feels. People like Hades and myself? We're really good at saying things to get the results that we want.
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[She already does know but without enough info to go on, she can't make a correct guess. A snort of laughter escapes as she leans into him at the idea of her son kicking his ass.]
No, you don't need to go that far. He may like it if what you say is true. But I do agree that mayhap some decent enough rest may give us clearer answers.
[She still feels like she needs to annul the Bond just because of logical reasons but her son has given her more knowledge to think with. Mira may have given into the ascian's lies but in the end, she needs to choose. Her choice, for her sake. No one else's. It has to be because she wants it. A lesson that will need to be pounded into her head maybe a couple more times to let it sink in.]
To trust my own instincts then? I'm horrible with it given my record.
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[ It's likely that she knows who he is referring to. With or without a name. Though hey... She's laughing. Or well. It's something of a laugh. That's better than the crying and the tear stains. So maybe some sleep will help her clear her head and process. Vanitas doubts that it will do anything for the old man but... ]
Trust your own instincts. You won't be able to develop them if you don't take the risk.
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[Look, she needs to talk to him but she won't do it now. Not while she's riled up and a mess. What a damn fool she's been. Such a terrible weapon she is.
No. No, not just a weapon. Someone who has love in her soul. Even if she is dumb to learn of it. Her choices from here on out must be her own and made because she wants it.]
For what is life without the risk?
[She still feels absolutely horrible without a doubt. She hurt someone she loved, even given him the reasons why he should keep closed off. And she still feels like she needs to annul her Bond with Hades, because that would save him. It's only logical. But...is that what she wants?]
Come on, we should go back home.
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